Home

 There are many facts that historians seek to find. One turn of phrase that has stuck with me since my time studying history has been this: one of the major things that historians look at is change over time and space. It’s interesting how our own personal change over time and space affects the words that we use as we discuss our own personal histories.

I was listening to a podcast where one of the guests was describing when he goes home to New Orleans that he now goes “home” to a house that he never lived in as a child, because his home was destroyed his senior in high school due to hurricane Katrina.

 

At that very moment, I happened to be driving past the neighborhood where I spent nearly 20 years of my life as both a child and an adult. The house where my parents spent nearly 30 years of their lives.

 

This culmination of physical closeness to what I considered a “home” and the discussion of what really is a metaphysical sense of home got me thinking. I keep thinking about how, for some of us, the language that we use as we describe what we are doing changes drastically.

 

What makes this house a home?

What this means to me, is what I think of when I think about the word home. Now in most cases, the English language is woefully inadequate when it comes to describing almost anything. Why is this? I believe this comes from the fact that many of our words have multiple definitions or we have multiple words that sound identical and mean so many different things, i.e. ate and eight as well as there, they’re and their. And because of this, the words that we use to describe things very not only from person to person, but also from meaning to meaning and we have to unpack our own choices when it comes to the words that we use.

 

This really hit me today as I was thinking about going to visit my family for Christmas. I no longer say that I’m going home for the holidays. Why is this? I think it’s because recently, my parents moved. For those of you that don’t know, I currently live just outside of Denver in one of the suburbs called Englewood and my parents recently moved to the other side of the state.

 

I think their reasoning behind this move was motivated mostly by emotions. My little sister and her family live over in Grand Junction. And if we want to speak on memories, my parents were married in Grand Junction and all three of their children were born there. There’s a whole list of happy memories associated with the western slope of Colorado for my parents.

 

But for me, home will always be the house that I spent nearly all of my formative years in. It’s the house on Mars. Not to planet, but the street. This is where I became an adult. It’s where, when I was stationed in Italy while in the Air Force, I would say I was “going home on leave”. It’s the home I lived in when I graduated from Emporia State University with a master’s degree and also where I struggled with posttraumatic stress. So much of who I am is defined by that space in the time I spent it.

 

But now that house is no longer a part of my life. Someone else lives there, someone else will now have their “home” centered around that space. And it’s in that change of space that has me evaluating what the word home now means to me.

 

What does the word home now mean to me? I really don’t know, but I think this is a good a venue to explore what I think of when I hear the word. Let’s utilize one of my favorite hobbies: philosophy.

 

Now, I am in no way a professional philosopher, but I do take it seriously. As I have heard many philosophers say, we need to define our terms. 

 

HOME

noun

1.    a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.

2.    the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.

3.    an institution for the homeless, sick, etc.: a nursing home.

4.    the dwelling place or retreat of an animal.

5.    the place or region where something is native or most common.

6.    any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.

7.    a person's native place or own country.

8.    (in games) the destination or goal.

 

This is only a small selection of the definitions of the word home that can be found on dictionary.com. As you can see, there are so many different ways the word home can be utilized. Are we only talking about the physical location where I go after work during the week? The place where I have domestic affections? I really hope that I don’t need to go to an institution for the homeless or sick.

 

I know that within the last six or seven months I have not used the word “home” to mean a place where I have domestic affections. This is not to say that I don’t love where I live. I have a dope apartment, a roommate who I’m glad to have in my life, and I’m located in one of the best places for a single, slightly overweight, nearing middle aged man could want to live. But even though I have lived in this space for over two years, it really isn’t a home in that metaphysical sense. 

 

Moments like this mean so much

There is so much about what makes a space a home for us. It’s our time spent with the people who care for us. It’s the conversations and experiences that we have while occupying that space. Now, a good chunk of the last year has been overtaken by the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, but I have yet to really connect with this space that I live in. 

 

I do know that I will never see the area that my parents live as home, in that metaphysical sense. There is a long list of reasons, mainly stemming from the fact that I do enjoy living in an urban environment and having to deal with the ultra-conservative leanings of a large portion of the population in that area is not for me. 

 

But when do I get that feeling of “home”? Is it when I finally purchase my own home? That seems pretty far-fetched in the world that we live in. Is it when I establish more relationships and have meaningful experiences in a space? If you’ve ever met me, then you know that I tend be a very distanced person, and I think that it pushes other away so that’s out.

 

I think that part of the reason I’m struggling to find a space that I can call “home” is because my family has left the immediate area. It used to be the case that, if I wanted, I could drive for about ten minutes and visit my parents or take five to ten minutes longer and see my twin sister. Now, neither of those scenarios are possible. Not only have my parents moved, but my twin eared a promotion that required her to move to Colorado Springs, a city that is approximately two hours away. She was the last connection I had to my immediate family that was easily accessible.

 

With the advent of modern communications technology, talking and connecting with anyone is extremely easy, yet it never feels like I’m making a really connection. There is something special of being in the same physical space as another person, especially someone you care deeply about. Text messages are never quite enough. 

 

Now, I quickly want to acknowledge my privilege for a moment. I very lucky to have a space where I can live. I know that many people in this current time are struggling to pay rent and pay their bills. This is in no way meant to minimize the struggles of those who are worried about losing their home or those who are currently homeless. I can only have this type of metaphysical discussion with that type of security.

 

Now, I know this was bit of journey, but it’s something that plays on my mind. As we come up on the holiday season, these are the things that can lead to craziness in my seasonal depression, so I find it best to speak or write about them.  

 

Thanks to all of you who have made it to this point. Know that I love all of you an wish you the best as we go through this tough time. We can make it through together. 

Library Experience pt 2

I wrote a post a few months back speaking to the lack of interest in libraries hiring applicants the have a lack of experience outside of the required MLS/MLIS degree.  A friend of mine posted it to a library focused Facebook group and, let me tell you, they response was ludicrous.  One commenter stated that they would hire someone who didn’t have experience in a paraprofessional position (clear underemployment) and another was shocked that I knew I wanted to be a librarian, because, how could one know that that was what they wanted to do it they have never worked in a library before.

The discussion around this blog post set my brain on fire.  At first, I was furious that a collection of professionals that espouses to embrace differences and encourage new ideas would be so against the new blood in their midst.  But, as I thought long and hard on this (which is why I’m writing this more than six months later) I do not believe that this is an actively malicious plan to protect the old guard.  It’s merely a continuation of what has been done in the past and a reaction to cuts in funding. 

However, the fact that experience is a functional requirement of the librarian hiring process is detrimental to the profession.  This can be seen in two distinct and differing issues.  1) from the outside, this can appear to new librarians that those in positions of power have protectionist attitude towards the hiring process and 2) by not bringing in new librarians that have not experience can keep new ideas outside of the profession.

Every person who has struggled to be hired into the profession they have trained for understands the feelings of rejection that is associated with being told that they do not qualify for a job.  Add in to this feeling that the reason you are not qualified for the position is lack of experience.  It’s a constant struggle and catch-22 that is familiar for millennials and Gen Zers.  How does one gain experience without a job?  I know that I have felt like those who are hiring must think my new ideas are not worth their time.  It has felt like the profession must protect the status quo.

What does this mean when there are no new librarians? This means that truly radical ideas take a greater amount of time to be suggested and implemented.  I wish that I had some research to point to back up this claim, only my experience within other organizations.  If you continue to hire the exact same type of people with the exact same experiences, that is not a conducive environment to change.  

This is not to be too overly critical of the state of librarianship.  It’s one of the only professions that is majority women.  We should celebrate that. But it’s also overwhelmingly white.  This leads to the instillation of privilege.  It is easy to not question the status quo when the status quo benefits your privilege.

What can be done about this? It is quite simple: create true entry level positions, higher diverse populations, and back up the claims that librarians make, that we support new ideas and diversity.  Any group of people needs an infusion of newness, doesn’t matter if it’s a gene pool or a profession.  New perspectives and challenges to the status quo are never bad.  Lets give our ne librarians a change to make the impact that they truly want to achieve.  

The Library Experience Gap

Libraries have an experience problem. No, it’s not a lack of experience, it’s the way that we ask those entering librarianship to gain it.  Experience within a library now seem to be the standard for jobs posed on the myriad of job board such as the ALA Joblist or Library Jobline.  It is presented in a way that it is not an absolute requirement, but something that potential employers would prefer. Yet, I’ve had many encounters with friends and former classmates who have decided to not pursue careers in librarianship due to their inability to land a job.

Experience Required

A quick search on the ALA Joblist, looking for Information Literacy/Instruction (my specialty) found a list with these qualification requirements:

1. Master's degree [required] in Library Science from a regionally accredited college or university with an ALA accredited program. 

2. Reference experience in an academic library preferred. 

3. Experience in library instruction and conducting library research. 

4. Light (under 15 pounds) lifting and carrying. 

5. Professional commitment to education.

6. A demonstrated commitment to equity and inclusion.

7. Must be able to perform all of the essential functions of the job with or without reasonable accommodation.

8. Ability to work evening and/or weekend hours and travel between campus locations as required.

These are pretty standard. Nothing here is really exceptional or over the top, yet number two on this list is a preferred experience requirement.  Its presented in a way that will encourage those without experience to apply, but allows those on the hiring committee to select someone who has been in the profession for a few years, at least.  

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to hire someone with experience.  Generally, it lowers any cost associated with training a new hire.  While new LIS graduates have a foundational and theoretical understanding of how librarianship works, without direct library experience, it is difficult to know how well these new librarians will put that knowledge into practice. 

However, by prioritizing experience, the world of librarianship deemphasizes new ideas and changes for the better. My time in librarianship (admittedly rather limited) has given me the feeling that the profession is rather conservative. While the majority of  librarian positions have been held by women (something that we should continue to celebrate) we are still a predominately white group.  Those of us who are people of color have hard time finding others within the profession who look like us. While we claim to be supporters of diversity in all its forms, can we really say that we support diversity when we don’t hire underrepresented groups.  The next great idea in library and information science could be coming from that applicant who has little experience within a library, yet has a great deal of life experience that is different than that of the hiring board.

Exploitation of Job Seekers

Now to the problem of how to get library experience. The most common refrain that I have heard when speaking about experience is “Have you thought of volunteering?” 

I do not want the reader to misunderstand my intent.  I fully support those who choose to volunteer within a library setting. Because the funding for libraries in all their forms continues to decrease and library directors are having to make due with less, I believe that utilizing any person who decides to volunteer their time is an added benefit. 

The problem stems from when we use volunteering as a training tool.  Instead of valuing the education that new librarians receive, we tell them that they should go work for free and then we shall consider you for future employment. This completely devalues the degree which is the minimum requirement for any librarian position. We are telling our new graduates that the hard work that they have put in to earn both a Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees was all for naught.  What about the mountains of debt that the majority of LIS student rack up? We aren’t concerned with that, just that you have some form of experience and give a library free labor while doing it.

I am both fortunate and unfortunate in this scenario.  I did not accrue large amounts of student debt, but that was because I was able to utilize funding sources from the Veteran’s Administration. This is not an option for the majority of students.  Unless you come from a wealthy family, chances are you are going to have significant debt.

Where I am unfortunate is in time and ability.  I work two jobs to make ends meet.  Both jobs are small business that I own, one that is connected to librarianship and the other completely separate.  In addition, I have the added struggle of being a disabled veteran.  So, when I get home from eight hours of delivering auto parts, I then have to fit into my schedule the time to conduct research and create information literacy instruction for my clients while at the same time struggling to walk up the stairs to my apartment.  With all that in mind, you, hiring committee or HR person, are going to tell me that I should be volunteering to shelve books at my local library?  What about single mothers struggling to make ends meet and still succeed in librarianship or the African American man who just wants to help his local kids be able to read?

Conclusion

We need to do better. I know this might read like a disgruntled man who hasn’t been able to get a job.  That is somewhat true, but this does not diminish the validity of what recent graduates are going through.  I personally know people who have given up trying to find a job as a librarian because of similar circumstances to mine. The lack of experience does not indicate that a person does not have value to add to an institution.  While I doubt that they would read this, I encourage library directors, hiring committees, and HR departments to take the occasional flyer on the inexperienced graduate.  You needed a start at some point, be the launching pad for some amazing young person to be the future.

Good Bye, Stan

I’m sitting here watching an Avengers movie.  I’m really at a loss for words as to what say about this sad day.  I have constantly been a part of the discussions as to which of the comic book houses are the best.  I generally fall into the DC camp, but today, I am a Marvel man.

Stan Lee was THE creator of characters.  So many of the best Marvel books were created by him.  Spider-Man, Nick Fury, Ant-Man, The Avengers.  These are just a few of the quintessential characters that Mr. Lee brought to life. The entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Universe would not exist without the brilliance of this man.  

So much of my life has been defined by the geek culture.  Video games, board games, and comic books have meant so much to me.  They helped me through time in the military, tough times in my adult life, and brought me great amounts of happiness.

For all of this, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the multitude of creators, and preeminent amount them was Mr. Lee.  Stan, you will be missed.  Thank you for all you did for us.  Beers are on me in Valhalla.

Motorcycles and the Importance of Mental Health

I have this dream, and it has nothing to do with libraries, politics, academia, or intellectual freedom. I want to own and operate a motorcycle parts and accessory shop.  Nothing huge, a small space where riders can purchase performance upgrades and the riding gear that I like.  I’d like to try and bring the scene that I like to Denver.  

You see, motorcycles have literally saved my life.  While that may seem like a contradiction, due to the dangers of riding, bikes have been a way for me to maintain a sense of mental health.  When I’m out on the road, it’s just me and my Harley.  It’s a good place to think and come to terms with the many things that I have had to deal with in my life.  

I think that everyone should have a space where they can do something similar.  While I will always advocate for two wheeled therapy, I know that there are many ways and spaces for people to do this.  But I also know that there are people, trained professionals, who can help.

In a past life (the military) it was never really talked about how much mental health could impact on my life.  After multiple deployments and dealing with the loss of some of the greatest men that I have known, I had serious issues that I could not overcome by myself.  Eventually, my family was brave enough to tell me that I needed to go and talk to someone.  So, I swallowed my pride and went to the VA.  I did not expect much, but what I got was incredible.

I knew that I didn’t want to end up in some group that all we did was bitch and moan about how fucked up things were and that there was no way that the rest of society could understand. Luckily, I had the option of using the VA Choice program.  This allowed me to see a civilian practitioner utilizing a one on one approach.  I went, I talked, I laughed, I cried, and after a year of treatment, I walked away a better man who could better understand the complexities of my own emotions and reactions to the world around me.

I didn’t begin writing this with the plan to talk about mental health, but that is where the words have led me.  I am not ashamed that I have sought help.  I’m quite proud that I was able to do something that my not only my life better, but life is better for those around me as well.

I’m still working on utilizing the skill that therapy has taught me and while I do this I will continue to ride and hope that some of you will join me.  Stay safe out there and keep the rubber side down.

The Last Jedi and Leadership Failure

WARNING: SPOLIERS AHEAD!

I watched The Last Jedi with my family last night.  This was the second time, so I had a chance to really evaluate the plot of the story.  What I've come to realize, the entire story is based on failed leadership.

We're going address the plot from the side of the Resistance. While I do understand that the nature of the evacuation from their hidden base required speed and because of this their fuel state was naturally low. The Resistance was in a precarious state when their leadership group was decimated with the exception of Gen. Organa. While the General recovers, leadership is passed to Vice Admiral Holdo.  The Resistance was in a desperate state and many, including Poe Dameron, were interested in knowing what the plan entailed.  Holdo told no one.

I do understand the need for operational security.  I'm a veteran and there were times where I did not have all of the information of all the operations that were going on around me.  But this is a case where sharing what the plan was would have avoided many of the struggles, and thousands of deaths, by sharing the plan.  The entire reason that Dameron agreed with the plan that Finn and Rose can up with was because he believed that the Resistance was at a point where its survival was at stake and drastic measures were required.

Good leaders know how to ensure that their subordinates buy into both the culture of the organization as well as the operations.  In the case of the Resistance, the culture had been established by General Organa.  The buy in to the culture was there.  It was at at the operational level that Resistance leaders failed.  If Dameron had know what the ultimate plan was, Rose and Finn would never had felt the need to search for the underworld code breaker, which eventually lead to the First Order finding the escaping Resistance transports.

Leaders should not need to give all of the details to those who work for them.  But a small amount of situational awareness can inform a leader when their people need to know more about the plans.  Holdo even addresses the fact that Dameron is someone who acts impulsively, and if she knew him that well, she should have know that by sharing the plan would have kept him from acting so brashly. The death and destruction could have been avoided.  I lay this failure squarely at the feet of Vice Admiral Holdo.

With all of this criticism of the leadership of the Resistance, I do have to say that I absolutely love this film. I hope that you all get the same level of enjoyment that I did out of it.  May the force be with you all and have a safe and happy holiday season.

Hate and the ALA

From ABC news

This weekend has brought anguish and heartache to many of us.  I have been battling strong emotions during the last few days and have be trying to overcome the sadness and rage that have been brought about by the blatant hatred that was on display in Charlottesville, Virginia.  There is no place in this country for racism, racism, bigotry, and hatred.

The response of public officials has been extremely varied.  The immediate response of 45 was more than disappointing.  I can not believe that it took him two days to denounce Neo-Nazis and white supremacists.    It hasn't taken him long to denounce the CEOs that have left his manufacturing council over his failures, yet he had to wait to get all the facts.  This is the problem with his administration.

While many of us have been vocal about the length of time it took the president to respond properly, I have yet to hear negative reactions about how long it has taken for others to respond.  As a librarian and veteran, I watch two organizations closely: the American Library Association and the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.  Both of these organizations took days to respond to the events of this weekend.  The statements themselves are exactly what you would expect; they can be found here (IAVA) and here (ALA)

In this age of instant communication, I'm concerned that it took until Monday (IAVA) and Tuesday (ALA) to respond to this disgusting chain of events.  These organizations claim to represent me, yet they failed to represent my rage and anger.  This detestable display of hatred should have been condemned instantly.

Twitter, Facebook, and other social media outlet allow for us to communicate with the world.  These outlets should have been used to make statements by the leaders of both the ALA and IAVA.  While we attempt to hold 45 accountable, we also need to hold those that lead professional organizations accountable as well.  They report to represent us, force them to.